Revision plan Part 1
- One of my big concerns that I had while writing my draft was being able to have enough support with my quotes. Another one was trying to figure out a way to connect Gee and Cuddy.
- A couple things that my peers liked about my draft was the beginning of my essay and also the arguments and ideas that I have. Miranda commented “I think that you have a good start to your paper. You definitely have great ideas that are arguable”. She then explains how my ideas are good but I just need to support them and lay them out better.
- I feel as though I am working best with Gee when I implement his ideas of entering a discourse and how he contradicts himself. The only thing that my peers said about my work with Gee is to talk more about the difficulty of actually getting in to a discourse.
- My best work with Cuddy is when I connect her ideas to the ideas of Gee. I feel as though that my idea is strong but I just need to support it more and make Cuddy’s ideas more a part of my essay. My peers both suggest that I use more real life connections when talking about Cuddy in order to make more sense of my ideas.
- My first challenge is quoting incorrectly. By that I mean giving a better set up and explanation of the quote and not just placing them in. This problem is an easy fix but I just have to strongly focus on how to make my quotes flow better with my essay. I need to also make sure that my quotes actually represent evidence for my arguments. Another challenge that I have is organization. I tend to write really fast for my own pace and my essay does not tend to flow well. If I can work on just organizing my ideas in to an order that makes sense, I feel that this will help the reader understand my point.
- Overall I like my first draft and it is a good start but it needs help in certain areas. When I fix the organization of my essay, my quotes, and making sure that my arguments are clear and easy to understand then the reader will be able to understand me.
