Introduction- The only things that I decided to change was I added more background information about the two topics of Gee and Cuddy. I did this to better introduce my sources. I also added more basic ideas to try and make my thesis more clear.

Evidence and Explanations- I added a lot of explanations because I realized that all of my quotes did not really make sense because I just dropped them in there. I made more sense of everything with more explanations and added a lot more evidence. I added a lot when I was writing about Gee’s topic of mushfake, because when reading it over it just needed more.

Reorganization- I had two separate paragraphs. One about Gee and one about Cuddy. I was able to combine them to try to create a Barclay’s type paragraph.  It made more sense because I was trying to make the connection over two paragraphs instead of just 1. I also reorganized a few sentences but not full paragraphs.

New paragraphs- I actually did not add any new paragraphs. I just added a lot more of what was needed in my paragraphs that I already had, I just expanded on them.